I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
