i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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