Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
smell my finger.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
where are you?
Hypothermia
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
