i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
