sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize