i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
