Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
