i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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