Grow some girl-balls and come out already
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
