Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
