i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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