Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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