Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
