its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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