i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
