I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she smelled like a LAN party
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize