hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
