Since when is my name a synonym for head?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize