Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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