btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
