Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
