New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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