am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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