you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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