So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
