I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
