Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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