And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
