? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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