Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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