bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
