we're blogging at a bar
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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