We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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