Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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