On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
