if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
try to milk me bitch
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