our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
