i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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