what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
