Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
