I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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