im holly from the hills drunk
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
