I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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