I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
