youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
then he tried to convert me to islam
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
