We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
