so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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