so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize