How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
birth control should be required to get into college
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
