girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
