Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
