I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
