she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Green mimosas i think yes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize