she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
