people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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