so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
