I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
