She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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