You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
