i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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