We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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